Funding Friday: The Case for Being Liked

I've been spending more time on LinkedIn lately, and one of the things I appreciate about it is the quality of the conversations. There is no shortage of thoughtful leadership, thoughtful disagreement, and people sharing ideas about what it means to lead well. Whether you call it thought leadership or simply professionals learning from one another, I find there's always something worth considering.

This week, I came across a post arguing that it's not necessary to be well-liked, or even liked at all, to be successful in the nonprofit sector, particularly in fundraising.

It's an interesting perspective.

I also happen to disagree with it. Vehemently, in fact.

Perhaps part of the reason this caught my attention is that we're living in a moment of growing skepticism about people who openly want to be liked. Online, it's not uncommon to see someone dismissed as a "pick me," often simply because they're eager to connect, to contribute, or to earn the approval of others. More often than not, it's not intended as a compliment.

That label, however, rarely considers why someone wants to be liked.

There's a meaningful difference between seeking validation for your own ego and working to earn the confidence of others because you're representing something bigger than yourself.

Fundraising, in my view, falls squarely into the second category.

Now, before anyone accuses me of suggesting fundraisers should become people pleasers, let me be clear. We should never compromise our ethics, abandon our values, or tell people what they want to hear simply to win support. The Code of Ethics exists for a reason, and integrity is non-negotiable.

But I do believe relationships matter. In fact, I think they're the very foundation of our profession.

Fundraising is built on trust. Trust grows through respect. Respect is strengthened by kindness, authenticity, reliability, and yes, by being someone people enjoy working with.

When I say we should strive to be liked, I don't mean we should chase popularity. I mean we should strive to be approachable, collaborative, empathetic, and generous with our time and expertise. We should be the kind of professionals who leave people feeling heard, appreciated, and inspired by the mission we represent.

Because here's the thing: As fundraisers, nonprofit leaders, board members, consultants, and volunteers, we are rarely asking people to invest in us personally. We are asking them to invest in a cause that matters. Every interaction we have reflects on that mission. Every conversation, every meeting, every email, and every thank-you note helps shape how others perceive the organization we're privileged to represent.

Our job is not to be the star of the story. Our job is to be the best possible ambassador for the mission.

Sometimes that means having difficult conversations. Sometimes it means delivering unwelcome news. Sometimes it means setting boundaries or saying no. None of those things are incompatible with being well-liked. In my experience, people often appreciate honesty when it is delivered with respect, empathy, and transparency.

At the end of the day, I don't think fundraising is about cultivating a personal brand built on being the smartest person in the room or the toughest negotiator at the table.

It's about earning confidence. It's about building genuine relationships. It's about helping people feel connected to something larger than themselves.

If people like working with us because we are thoughtful, ethical, dependable, and relentlessly focused on the mission, that's not a distraction from fundraising.

It's one of the profession's greatest strengths.